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Thread: An Imaginary Chat with Max

  1. #11
    Bondservant of Jesus coachschaller's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wintchase View Post
    Great story. One thing though..... You should mention in the title that it is your Grandson you are talking about. I opened thinking that you were speaking with "Max" the razor maker from Las Vegas...... Made it kinda creepy at first... It's because you do all those interviews... No offense intended.. Just an observation from an outside reader's perspective.
    Yup,
    At first I thought it may have been a chat with one of those beautiful custom straight razors... However, it is very enjoyable. Keep it up!

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    Obie (12-08-2011)

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    The Assyrian Obie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wintchase View Post
    Great story. One thing though..... You should mention in the title that it is your Grandson you are talking about. I opened thinking that you were speaking with "Max" the razor maker from Las Vegas...... Made it kinda creepy at first... It's because you do all those interviews... No offense intended.. Just an observation from an outside reader's perspective.
    Hello Wintchase,
    Thanks for the kind remarks. I enjoyed writing that. Max, my grandson, is a remarkable little boy, who loves giving hugs. Ours is a hugging family. Also, at this age, he uses complete sentences and enunciates quite well. I am grateful for that, of course.
    I used the title, An Imaginary Chat with Max, intentionally, because I knew it would draw attention to the piece. In my world, strong and catchy titles are important.
    Thanks for your thoughts, my dear friend.
    Stay well.
    eTom likes this.

  4. #13
    Senior Member Wintchase's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Obie View Post
    Hello Wintchase,
    Thanks for the kind remarks. I enjoyed writing that. Max, my grandson, is a remarkable little boy, who loves giving hugs. Ours is a hugging family. Also, at this age, he uses complete sentences and enunciates quite well. I am grateful for that, of course.
    I used the title, An Imaginary Chat with Max, intentionally, because I knew it would draw attention to the piece. In my world, strong and catchy titles are important.
    Thanks for your thoughts, my dear friend.

    Stay well.
    Well it worked... But, if you moniker is on the post people will read it just to read your stuff..You have a rep here. Take care.

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    Obie (12-08-2011)

  6. #14
    The Assyrian Obie's Avatar
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    Windchase, that is an excellent point. Still the writing has to be strong to stand on its own. If you notice, I rarely use adverbs, and keep my adjectives to a limit. Adverbs contribute to lame prose. Adjectives do that to a lesser degree, but still do it. Always write with strong verbs. It's the verbs that give weight to the story's style, to the strength of the sentence. I thought of of titling the piece "An Imaginary Chat with My Grandson." That is fine. Yet it does not have the strength of "An Imaginary Chat with Max." I didn't use that title to make the reader think this was a chat with our own Max, the straight razor master. My grandson is Max, named after the great writer Maxwell Anderson. "An Imaginary Chat with Max" hits the spot.
    Thanks for your suggestion, my dear friend.
    Stay well.

  7. #15
    lz6
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    Senior Moderator lz6's Avatar
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    Thanks for sharing Obie.
    Bob

    "God is a Havana smoker. I have seen his gray clouds" Gainsburg

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    Obie (12-25-2011)

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