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I'm not being sarcastic. Whatever straight, strop, hone and plate you get will work. You don't have to experiment with them. Get a new good brand and trust me it'll work.

You could use shaving...

I hate to be a party pooper/voice of reason and I know you guys are just having some fun, but for the few out there that want to maybe get into straight razor shaving, I don't want to scare them away...